Quotes
Why is this in not in alphabetical or some other type of order?
"Of all tyrannies a tyranny exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience."
- C.S. Lewis
"A neurotic is the man who builds a castle in the air. A psychotic is the man who lives in it. A psychiatrist is the man who collects the rent."
- Jerome Lawrence
"Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind."
- Rudyard Kipling
"But this *long run* is a misleading guide to current affairs. *In the long run,* we are all dead."
- Keynes
"Scientists theorize about the possibilty of going to the stars, poets go there."
- Albatross
"I'd deflower you, but i'm an environmentalist."
- Neils Weilander
"I laugh, I smile, and I take Prozac."
- Jocelyn
"Any couple who can blush in unison deserve each other."
- Columbine
"You know it's love when you memorize her IP number to skip DNS overhead."
- Tarik John Dozier
"Why should we expose our burying grounds to the broad glare of day, to the unfeeling gaze of the idler, to the noisy press of business, to the discordant shouts of merriment or to the baleful vistiations of the dissolute?"
- Judge Josephy Story, dedication, Mount Auburn Cemetery, 1832
"You know you've been on NetGoth too long when you're overjoyed whenever you get email that doesn't start with a Re:"
- Lex
"Now *there's* a Ventrue.
Fate chucking obstacles in your way?
Throw money at the problem!"
- Ragnar
"Work is the curse of the drinking class."
- Oscar Wilde
"Friends don't let friends...go to clubs dressed like The Crow."
- Anonymous
"May the rocks below be mericless and jagged."
- Eileen (Individuation)
"There is no cause so noble, that one cannot find fools following it."
- Anonymous
"Scary Gary, you wouldn't know a subtle plan if it painted itself purple and danced naked on a harpsichord singing 'subtle plans are here again'."
- Edmund BlackAdder
"He's YOUR god,
They're YOUR rules,
YOU burn in hell."
- Locutus
"Uncle Cosmo ... why do they call this a word processor?"
"It's simple, Skyler ... you've seen what food processors do to food, right?"
- MacNelley, "Shoe"
"Spare no expense to save money on this one."
- Samuel Goldwyn
"Jesus save sinners and redeems them for valuable prizes!"
- Locutus
"I don't need a bat cookie, I need a baseball bat..."
- Petro
"Life is one big ink blot."
- Leanan Sidhe (Charlotte Ashley)
"But it doesn't matter because we're all doomed."
- Eric Parks
"I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it."
- Oscar Wilde
"I don't have any solution, but I certainly admire the problem."
- Oscar Wilde
"By doing just a little every day, I can gradually let the task completely overwhelm me."
- Oscar Wilde
"Maybe I'm lucky to be going so slowly, because I may be going in the wrong direction."
- Oscar Wilde
"America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between."
- Oscar Wilde
"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child."
- Former Vice President Dan Quayle
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
- J. Danforth Quayle
"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change."
- Former Vice President Dan Quayle, 5/22/89
"People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history."
- Former Vice President Dan Quayle
"I am not part of the problem. I am a Republican."
- Vice President Dan Quayle
"TIAC tech support: stealing idiots from villages everywhere."
- Purp
"TIAC Human resources: stealing idiots from villages everywhere."
- Ned Brickley
"Art is a telling of stories and drumming is one of the earliest forms of that art."
-Neil Peart
"Love is the triumph of imagination over the intelligence."
- Danny Cevidanes
"If I hammered a three-way plug adapter into my skull and plugged my head into a wall-socket I'd certainly be getting a lot more intellectual stimulation than I'm getting now."
- Kara Bunting
"Success didn't spoil me; I've always been insufferable."
- Fran Lebowitz
"If you're going to have delusions, you may as well go for the really satisfying ones."
-Marcus Cole, Babylon 5
"All of God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable."
- Fran Lebowitz
"Think of how stupid the average person is. Now realize that by definition HALF of the population is even STUPIDER."
- Lex
"I can resist everything except temptation."
- Oscar Wilde
"Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away."
- Philip K. Dick
"Coincidences are spiritual puns."
- G. K. Chesterton
"Conscious is when you are aware of something and conscience is when you wish you weren't."
- Anonymous
"I had to hit him -- he was starting to make sense."
- Anonymous
"I'm having an emotional outburst!!"
- Anonymous
"Hey! I don't steal - I gave that up!"
- Steve B.
"The closet upstairs: If you can only rub it in one direction, we carry it!"
- Lex
"Democracy is a government where you can say what you think even if you don't think."
- Anonymous
"However, never daunted, I will cope with adversity in my traditional manner ... sulking and nausea."
- Tom K. Ryan
"If God had meant for us to be in the Army, we would have been born with green, baggy skin."
- Anonymous
"Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform."
- Mark Twain
"Not only is this incomprehensible, but the ink is ugly and the paper is from the wrong kind of tree."
- Professor W.
"This is a test of the Emergency Broadcast System. If this had been an actual emergency, do you really think we'd stick around to tell you?"
- Anonymous
"Sometimes I simply feel that the whole world is a cigarette and I'm the only ashtray."
- Anonymous
"You can't have everything. Where would you put it?"
- Steven Wright
"A day without sunshine is like night."
- Anonymous
"So many rednecks, so little time..."
- Kaos
"They opened their eyes and beheld a flying roll."
- Ezekiel 5:1
"Gene police! Out of the pool!"
- Starchild
"Heh heh death chicks are cool. They do weird sex stuff."
- Beavis and Butt-Head
"I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it."
- Chyle
"It just can't be illegal to kill someone that incompetent!"
- ISP owner/sysadmin after speaking with Nynex
"He who cannot lie, knows not what truth is."
- Nietzche
"Do you think that too? That I have slept too long in the Moonlight?"
- Jean Rhys
"Everybody has a right to be stupid, but some people abuse the privilege."
- Joseph Stalin
"To be nobody but yourself when the whole world is trying its best night and day to make you everybody else is to fight the hardest battle any human being will ever fight."
- e.e. cummings
"It's cool! It's groovy! It's got penguins! And wibbly bits!"
- Pete Scathe
"The contemporary world is safe, if you merely have the right devices and technology. No colours too bright that can't be dulled, no voice too strident that can't be ignored, no experience too intimate that can't be avoided and converted to VHF or supplied by a telephone cable."
- Kristin Jay
"One snap of my fingers and I can raise hemlines so hight the whole world's your gynocologist.."
- Patsy, Absolutely Fabulous
"Anything is art if an artist says it is."
- Marcel Duchamp
"I'm a bisexual polyamorous pervert, but I STILL won't sleep with YOU."
- David Gerard
"We are painted. Fear us."
- Grimly The Invisible
"I'd like to change your mind by hitting it with a rock."
- They Might Be Giants
"If I painted my turtle black, would it be spooky?"
- Jhonen Vasquez, Johnny the Homicidal Maniac
"My life is a dark pit of darkness."
- "Anne Gwish", JTHM
"Moo! Moo! Moo, I say! Moo! Moo! Moo, I'm a cow! Moo! Moo! Moo, goddamit!"
- Rob Loehlin
"Dreams do not vanish, so long as people do not abandon them."
- Phantom F. Harlock
"It's nice coming from a minister. That's the lords work - name calling."
- Ellen Degeneres, responding to Jerry Falwell calling her "Ellen Degenerate."
"The best of Goths are really really fuckin' good and I want them. All. Now."
- David Gerard
"One should not worship machines any longer, or use them as workmen. One should collaborate with them."
- Jean Cocteau, Opium
"With the truth so dull and depressing, the only working alternative is wild bursts of madness and filigree."
- Hunter S. Thompson
"Reality is frequently inaccurate."
- Douglas Adams
"Hey, this train doesn't talk!"
- Rav3n
"My whole life is a dark room. One, big, dark room."
- Lydia, "Beetlejuice"
"Look, Mummy, goths!"
- A small child pointing to people at the Whitby Gothic Festival
"Fishnet is versitle in its many uses; for instance if you need to suddenly catch a fish."
- gnat
"I'd like to die like my grandfather, peacefully in my sleep - Not screaming like the passengers in his car."
- Anonymous
"It's like a crack pipe for smart people."
- Chat room fanatic Arsenio Hall, talking about the Internet
"So take the plunge and be not afraid, get hated by the right people."
- Jealousy
"Punk isn't dead, its waiting in ambush. "
- Jeff-boy
"Life doesn't throw me curve balls. It just hits me with the bat."
- Jealousy
"If an eighty foot slimey green man with a squid nailed to his face asks if he can devour your immortal soul and cast your still living remains to his minions to be tortured for all eternity... just say no!"
- Fox
"I'm Rudolph. Baaaa."
- Me
"Sorry, the stars have all gone out here..."
- Matt (Lost Boy)
"I'm not going on anything that looks like a giant speculum."
- Me at the "Time Warp" ride at Riverside Park
"Every once in a while, it's a good idea to call out 'Computer, end program,' just to check."
- Dave Noelle
"We looked like any average college-age couple, yet there they were, a whole cross-section of the banal masses staring at us like we had each spouted second heads that were now belting out 'The Blue Danube' in two part harmony."
- TSM
"High School is full of morons. Unfortunately most of them TEACH us."
- Scott Murray and Iain Conliffe
"I hate you all and I hope you have snacks!"
- Mystery Science Theater 3000
"You sir have just crossed my happy line...."
- Timmie
"I was underage once and I had group sex!"
- Imperia
"What a cute little cemetery!"
- Edvamp
"Stick. Electric. Poke. Cow go Zzzt Zzzt."
- Peter Nielsen
"Do I look like a stickybun for your breakfast enjoyment?"
- Animaniacs
"In short, if I wanted your lip, I'd jiggle my zipper."
- Po Qid
"Look, he may have made ugly suits, but he didn't deserve to die!"
- Misty Dean, commenting on the Versace murder
"Rock is dead!!! Long live paper and scissors!"
- Nancy (Squeaky)
"Should I come over and squeak until you fall asleep?"
- Dennis, to Noah
"A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn."
- Anonymous
"This is what you shall do: Love the earth and sun and the animals, despise riches, give alms to everyone that asks, stand up for the stupid and crazy,devote your income and labor to others, hate tyrants, argue not concerning God, have patience and indulgence toward the people, take off your hat to nothing known or unknown or to any man or number of men... re-examine all you have been told at school or church or in any book, dismiss whatever insults your own soul, and your very flesh shall be a great poem."
- Walt Whitman
"The intelligent man finds almost everything ridiculous, the sensible man hardly anything."
- Goethe
"Conformity is the jailer of freedom and the enemy of growth."
- John F. Kennedy
"If you foolishly ignore beauty, you'll soon find yourself without it. Your life will be improverished. But if you wisely invest in beauty, it will remain with you all the days of your life."
-Frank Lloyd Wright, New York Times, Oct. 4, 1953
"The dreams of youth are the regrets of maturity."
- Darkness, Legend
"It is best to love wisely, no doubt; but to love foolishly is better than not to be able to love at all."
- William Makepeace Thackery
"First things first, but not necessarily in that order."
- Doctor Who
"Kindness is loving people more than they deserve."
- Joseph Joubert
"But living in a hyper-industrialized, post-apocalyptic, ozone-free world run by crime bosses and the illuminati is much more goth than living in a world that still has trees. Except maybe scary twisted trees."
- Dead Little Joey
"Tattoos, greeny hard liquor, beepers, and orgies! Oh mi!"
- Discordia
"Sleep is only good for swapping out unused processes."
- Autarkis Aetherjammer
"In the wake of a
ship of fools, I am stealing
illegal lobsters."
- Columbine/James Viehland
"Lord, today please give me the strength to change the things I can change, the ability to accept the things I can't change, and the sensibility and insight to hide the bodies of all the people I had to kill because they pissed me off. Amen."
- The Lighthouse Keeper
"It's dark, it's dank...and I'm dead....and you think *you're* gothic?"
- Nytwind, in response to an alt.gothic thread about what you want on your tombstone
"Can you be a little less morbid?"
- Frat boy to frat boy overheard
"Abandon hope all ye who press enter here."
- Anonymous
"I'm not shy. I'm just studying my prey."
- Anonymous
"Once you pull the pin out of Mr. Grenade, he is no longer your friend."
- Anonymous
"But having a happy birthday isn't goth! If you want a goth birthday everyone has to forget it, no one buys you a present and you end up in your room, by yourself with a cupcake you make yourself with a candle in it, wearing a paper hat and softly singing 'happy bithday to me' while sobbing."
- Dead Little Joey
"I want some of those hearts to say 'I hate you' and 'A plague upon thee' and 'you ruined my life you miserable little [insert a fitting noun -- like bitch or bastard] and I hope you spend eternity rotting a slow insignificant death in the pits of [insert intellectual or religious equivalent of Hell]
Bitter? Me? NEVER!"
- Anonymous, on Valentine's Day candy hearts
"Fifty megabytes of pure joy."
- Macross, on "The Spirit of X-Mas"
"Angry skunk! Angry skunk! Angry skunk!"
- Wyatt
"Carpe GM: Seize the Game Master."
- Madeleine
"Techno should be about hate, not love. Techno is about wearing black and screaming, not standing in one place and swaying peacefully. I say, bring back the days of Skinny Puppy."
- Sen. Orrin Hatch as quoted in "The Onion"
"Chipmunks go backwards!"
- Anonymous
"Am I speaking in Yiddish again?"
- Me
"And that which does not make me stronger, kills me?"
- confused logic student
"You're meaner than my grandmother's cat!"
- Chandra, to Starchild
"You'll never be the same again. I promise."
- 120 Days of Sodom, Marquis de Sade
"Friends do not let friends eat lead pipe."
- Hilary Barth
"Word up, home giblet!"
- James Graham
"Chickens on crack say 'fib'!"
- Sam
"Sex is that horrible, nasty disgusting thing that you save for the person you love."
- Iain Conliffe, commenting on the idiosyncrasies in Catholicism
"Either that wallpaper has to go, or I shall."
- Oscar Wilde, on his deathbed
"I really do like him, just not this week."
- Rhiannon
"I don't understand how someone wearing a cheese-shaped hat could call me a freak."
- Gregg, on the Green Bay Packers
"I'm a chef in the South Park sense, but not the food sense."
- Silicon Vicious
"Oh my god! They killed an arab! You bastards!"
- Scuba Fork, on Robert Smith being on South Park
"Only someone you love can TRULY piss you off!"
- Columbine
"Error 'paradox' at address 'expectations'."
- Peter Nulton
"Therefore love moderately: long love doth so; Too swift arrives as tardy as too slow."
- Friar Lawrence, Romeo and Juliet
"'He looks like Alice Cooper doing 'Rosemary's Baby.'"
- Mr. Blackwell's Top 10 Worst Dressed List, about Marilyn Manson
"Mmm...pretty sentence...tasty sentence."
- Sean Gomez
"Remember, boys and girls, people judge you *not* by your shoes, but by whether or not your socks match."
- Space Ghost
"I won't be going to the sale at all because I would be far too tempted to break out the credit card... which I intend to use only for neccessities - school books, telephone bill, sisters of mercy tickets..."
- Andrea Artemis
"There's really a fine line between clever and stupid."
- Spinal Tap
"Sorry, I don't need to be fixed. I'm bent and twisted...not broken."
- Edvamp
"This is not a Nickelodeon TV show!"
- me, to Zoe saying "Hey dude" over and over
"I'm way stoned, man - that cookie tasted way better than it should."
- Mark
"Why can't my exes sing that to me?"
- me, listening to Beck's "Loser"
"S'mores roasted over an open bonfire of roasting corpses..."
- Anomalee, to the tune of "Chestnuts Roasting"
"I hope you don't take me seriously. *I* certainly wouldn't."
- Ani DiFranco
When I see someone in pigtails I can't help but pretend they're a tricycle."
- Joe
"The internet is evil. I love the internet."
- Cheshire
"I never expected you to speak for anyone else. It would be a bit difficult, and your head would have to spin around and a loud booming voice would have to come out of your mouth, followed by green projectile vomit."
- me, to Ben
"I'm good with knives."
- Anathema, during a discussion about men
"You are what you learn to need."
- The Swans
"If I kill myself, I can never hear Kurt Cobain's songs again... where are my bullets?"
- Brett Markham
"Make God laugh: tell Him your plans."
- A sign outside of a church in Brighton
"You'd orgasm if you saw my head."
- Spurious, to Grimm, on #altgothic
"You know, the things with the circles of chipmunks?"
- me
"I'm empty inside and I'm trying to fill it up with pizza."
- eloquence, on #altgothic
"Unrequited love sucks farts from dead cats."
- anathema
Don't use that! We have to suck through that end!"
- Noah
"What if Jesus was nailed by his feet?"
"He was."
"Yeah, I know, but..."
- Scuba Fork and Noah
You're lucky I didn't see you."
- Scuba Fork, to Chyle
I knew he was there but I was talking and I didn't want to stop."
- Chyle
"That's the best shadow you've ever been in. Don't ever move."
- Scuba Fork, to Chyle
"He's so Billified."
- Chyle, to Scuba, about Noah
"Reality tastes like Orangina, if you're not paying attention."
- Starchild
"Feminists aren't anti-man, they're anti-vowel."
- Xanadu, on alternative spellings for 'woman/women'
"I think you have a subconscious desire to sleep on the couch."
- anonymous
"Cow fodder is often good literature."
- me
"Only smoke can save us now."
- The Mad Fishmonger
"Satanism isn't an independent religion. It is Christianity Dark Bitter Ale."
- Jim Sexton
"Is there a spooky waterslide by you?"
- Bridget, to Mansonite
"Let's all hope Jesse Helms has Colorado in his vacation plans."
- Jen Koslowski, on the rash of celebrity deaths
"Surreality is fine, but not before breakfast."
- Wendolen
"That's like a car accident on the road of life."
- me
"I caught my cream cheese with a melocrat."
- Noah
"Not while eating. You'll break my jaw."
- Bill, to Scuba
"What kind of hole does this thing go into?"
- Bill
"Apparently, I haven't had enough crack today."
- Xia
"Ack! My crotch!"
- Noah
"It's a great idea."
- Gandhi, on western civilization
"It is to live that requires courage, not to die."
- Victoria Holt
"You don't have to be a hippie to believe in peace..."
- Elvis Costello
"That was so "Seinfeld", I could puke!"
- Noah
"No, non-pelvic fun."
- Curtis, to the waiter at Bickford's
"That was so Danger Mouse."
- Noah, to Wendy
"How many people are coming in your mouth?"
- Curtis, to Noah
"Now come on, honey, now you go along home and wait for me, sweetheart, I'll be there in just a little while. You see I gotta go out in this car with these people - and get fuuuuucked uuuup."
- Jim Morrison, ranting during a live "Five to One"
"When life's got you down, just make stupid noises."
- Alexie Sayles
"You can never be more than you have created in your dreams."
- Pogien
"What I do today is important because I am paying a day of my life for it. What I accomplish must be worthwhile because the price is high."
- anonymous
"Or they could be just tryin' to start wars, and that's no good."
- Asher
"Probably because you'll usually get a neorotic psycho if you pick someone up at a club. Or at a church. Or in a bookstore. Or on the subway. Or at a party. Or at work. Or at the beach. Or anywhere. Because most people are neurotic psychos."
- Bratling
"Don't regret what you haven't done, just what you have."
- Ian Sturrock
"Well, it I thought for an instant that there was a hell, I might agree. But I think that satan is too busy poking the easterbunny with his pitchfork to care about me."
- Brian Anderson
"The battle cry of the Goth Tick: 'SWOON!'"
- Mike Hsieh
"I'm so glad we have 50 states, because I couldn't possibly live in 48 of them."
- Raul
"Don't apologize for who you are. Make them apologize for not accepting you."
- Kitty
"You put the 'damn' back in damsel."
- Noah, to me
"#000000, #000000, #00000 like my soul."
- uhlume
"It was a comforting 'eeeeek'."
- me
"Well, your brain doesn't work. Your heart doesn't work, and your soul needs an oil change."
- The Twins Sinister
"Listen, boy, I gotta tell you something. I love you. You know that, right? Because while some barriers never go down, sometimes they just aren't really there at all, you know? Or they just don't matter."
- Drea
"Relationships are built on Bonds, on Love, on Mutual Interests. If you want reciprocity, find a business partner."
- The Twins Sinister
"Hell is other people."
- Sartre
"What are you, a suction cup?"
- me
"Yep. Being bisexual is great. Really it is. You have double the chances to get your heart stomped on, double the chances to be used, manipulated and fucked over."
- catling
"Net.goths are figments of our overly taxed imaginations, a daymare to feed our intellectual selves in order to provide proof we are not alone. Suddenly, we realize we are, desperately so, and then order a pizza to discuss compassion with the delivery person."
- Nytwind
"I'm one of the world's greatest protagonists."
- Chris, trying to say procrastinators
"No, I'm Ghandi as fuck."
- Grimm
"You're going to be like Tinkerbell on a gram of coke."
- Chris, to me
"My toes are all wrong!"
- Chris
"An explosive collection of drunk people!"
- Ren, about c4
"The animal that coils in a circle is the serpent; that's why so many cults and myths of the serpent exist, because it's hard to represent the return of the sun by the coiling of a hippopotamus."
- U. Eco
"Like is when it nearly kills you if they aren't happy.... love is when you would kill yourself if it would only make them happy."
- anonymous
"Peter Murphy is sex."
- Leonora
"Try as much as possible to be wholly alive, with all your might, and when you laugh, laugh like hell and when you get angry, get good and angry. Try to be alive. You will be dead soon enough."
- William Saroyan
"Just because someone listens to Bauhaus doens't make them a worthwhile person."
- Kelly H. Watts
"A pair of Smeggs does not a diva make."
- Brian
"Would you please not stick your finger in my hole!"
- Melanie, about her sock
"Love sucks, yet lacks the decency to swallow."
- Anathema
"We are each of us angels with only one wing. And we can only fly by embracing each other."
- Luciano de Crescenzo
"We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it - and stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again - and that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore."
- Mark Twain
"Every blade of grass has an angel that bends over it and whispers, 'grow! grow!'"
- Talmud
"The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation."
- Henry David Thoreau
"To fall in love is to create a religion that has a fallible god."
- Jorge Luis Borges
"Life is not lost by dying; life is lost minute by minute, day by dragging day, in all the thousand small uncaring ways."
- Stephen Vincent Ben�t
"Death is more universal than life; everyone dies but not everyone lives."
- A. Sachs
"It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend."
- William Blake
"Sometimes I need what only you can provide -- your absence."
- Oscar Wilde
"Why should I search for love or study it?
It is of god and passes human wit.
I study hatred with great diligence
For thats a passion in my own control."
- Yeats
"A friend is someone who knows all about you and and still likes you."
- Elbert Hubbard
"Love doesn't make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile."
- Franklin P. Jones
"Kindness is loving people more than they deserve."
- Joseph Joubert
"Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction."
- Antoine de Saint-Exupery
"Love is a kind of warfare."
- Ovid
"If we judge of love by its usual effects, it resembles hatred more than friendship."
- La Rochefoucauld
"It is with true love as it is with ghosts; everyone talks about it, but few have seen it."
- La Rochefoucauld
"I am two fools, I know,
For loving, and for saying so in Whining poetry."
- John Donne
"Love thy neighbour as yourself, but choose your neighbourhood."
- Louise Beal
"Love ceases to be a pleasure, when it ceases to be a secret."
- Aphra Behn
"If you judge someone, you have no time to love them."
- Mother Teresa
"The reality of the other person lies not
in what he reveals to you but
in what he cannot reveal to you.
Therefore, if you would understand him,
listen not to what he says
but rather to what he does not say."
- Kahlil Gibran, "Sand and Foam"
"Education is an admirable thing. But it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught."
- Oscar Wilde
"I have loved to the point of madness;
that which is called madness,
that which to me,
is the only sensible way to love."
- F. Sagan
"We are torn between a craving to know and the despair of having known."
- F. Sagan
"Yesterday is a cancelled check.
Tomorrow is a promisary note.
Today is cash...
Spend it wisely."
- anonymous
"Love without reason lasts the longest."
- anonymous
"To be a woman's first lover means nothing - To be the last is the important thing."
- anonymous
"There is no such thing as happiness, just lesser shades of melancholy."
- anonymous
"Don't waste your youth growing up."
- anonymous
"Everybody laughs in the same language."
- anonymous
"One world at a time."
- Thoreau, when asked about the hereafter
"You can only find truth with logic if you have already found it without it."
- G. K. Chesterton
"Computers are useless. They can only give you answers."
- Pablo Picasso
"Unix - it's a nice place to live, but you wouldn't want to visit there."
- anonymous
"Friendship is held to be the severest test of character. It is easy, we think, to be loyal to a family and clan, whose blood is in your own veins. Love between a man and a woman is founded on the mating instinct and is not free from desire and self-seeking. But to have a friend and to be true under any and all trials is the mark of a man."
- Charles Alexander Eastman, (Ohiyesa) Santee Sioux
"Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the wise: seek what they sought."
- Basho
"No victor believes in chance."
- Neitzsche, "Aphorism 258"
"You know what charm is: a way of getting the answer 'yes' without having asked any clear question."
- Camus
"Since feeling is first, who pays attention to the syntax of things will never wholly kiss you."
- e. e. cummings
"When I was a child, my mother said to me, `If you become a soldier you'll be a general. If you become a monk you'll end up as the pope.' Instead I became a painter and wound up as Picasso."
- Pablo Picasso
"To let a fool kiss you is stupid, to let a kiss fool you is worse."
- anonymous
"Only after the last river has been poisoned,
Only after the last fish has been caught,
Only then will you realize that money cannot be eaten."
- Cree Indian Prophecy
"Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you - not because they are nice, but because you are."
- anonymous
"Tis better to argue a point and not settle it, than to settle a point and not argue it."
- J. Joubert
"If you say my eyes are beautiful, it's because they're looking at you."
- anonymous
"The meaning of life is to give life meaning."
- anonymous
"Moderation in all things, including moderation."
- Larry S.
"The ones we call crazy for trying to change the world are the ones that do."
- anonymous
"Seduce my mind and you can have my body, find my soul and I'm yours forever."
- anonymous
"The unexamined life is not worth living."
- Socrates
"I feel like a 486 that's been running win3.11 for 12 days straight without a reboot."
- oddlystrange
"There's a very good reason why what you do is called 'trouble- shooting'. They cause you troubles, and you want to shoot them."
- Midnight
"if it were apathy, no-one would say anything.
if it were apathy, no-one would bitch.
if it were apathy, no-one would be on a mailing list because it takes a small amount of thought to click the 'reply' button."
- kittythin(g)
"i can very much see heading into a cornfield at night
and bringing blankets
and drinking wine and eating fruit
and watching the moon
and making love
and talking in quiet voices
and later, screaming..."
- anna
"Hie there! who goest through the drive-through now; would you likest some french fries with your cow?"
- Jen, on where Shakespeare would be if he was alive today
"So what have we learned? That wearing a pink bunny suit and singing 'It's A Small World' is about as Goth as you can get. It may start a whole new movement! Lines of people wearing pink bunny suits lined up to hear Bauhaus do their version of "It's a Small World" written by members of alt.gothic. The newsgroup may change it's name to alt.bunnysuit. Break free from your chains! Wear your pink bunny suit with pride! Show your true goth colors! (Pink?).
- Michael, on alt.gothic
"Happiness is next to Keenliness, or something like that."
- Scott
"I have NEVER condomed a black metaller."
- Empty, on alt.gothic
"I get laid from alt.gothic. What do you get from WebTV?"
- David Gerard
"I'm the type that knows people by their characters; the masks they wear, so to speak. When a piece of the mask is removed... or another added, whichever way you look at it... it just stuns me. For surprises are happenings that make you smile."
- Nace Phlaux
"Eh. I wish. I'm still a virgin, only because of lack of options. None of the girls around here seem to be geared toward domination, masochism (candles), or bondage. *sighs* Maybe later."
- Tom, on high school girls
"Change happens by dissent; without various levels thereof, there is no change, and it becomes stagnant."
- me
"The honor of a block of land should never be more important than the people living on it."
- me
"In the depths of my heart, i can't help being convinced that my fellow men, with a few exceptions, are worthless."
- Sigmund Freud
"Masochists are people that have pleasure confused with pain. In a world that has television confused with entertainment, doritoes confused with food, and Dan Quayle confused with a national political leader, masochists are clearly less mixed-up than the rest of us."
- PJ O'Rourke
"latent in every man is a venom of amazing bitterness, a black resentment; something that curses and loathes life, a feeling of being trapped, of having trusted and being fooled, of being the helpless prey of impotent rage, blind surrender, the victim of a savage, ruthless power that gives and takes away, enlists a man, drops him, promises and betrays, and- crowning injury - inflicts on him the humilation of feeling sorry for himself."
- Paul Valery
"You are the Ayatollah of Confusion on the night of Dival�."
- The Random Surrealist Quote Generator, to me
"For the average person, all problems date to World War II; for the more informed, to World War I; for the genuine historian, to the French Revolution."
- Erik von Kuehnelt-Leddihn, "Leftism Revisited"
"Piercing is like anal sex -- it doesn't hurt if you have it done by a professional."
- Shannon, on rec.arts.bodyart
"Life is a bitter beautiful mess. You take out the bitter, you destroy the beautiful."
- Albatross, on alt.gothic
"And now, a special report: U.S. war planes have descended on Iraq and turned the entire country green..."
- Samantha Craggs, on alt.books.poppy-z-brite
"Downtown, it's a nice sunny day with a ninety-percent chance of sudden surreality, doubtless to be followed by the sustained echoes of the entire world laughing at the US."
- klaatu, on alt.gothic about Operation Desert Fox
"Kind of like Communism. It only works for the Smurfs."
- Sean Hexed
"A turkey neck in a pot of water looks very much like a penis."
- Una, on alt.gothic
"...Some are born Goth, some achieve Goth, some have Goth thrust upon them, some watch the Crow a few times, put on eyeliner, and start annoying people."
- Gruamach
"I find it VERY distracting. In the middle of hot, sweaty, wet adult behavior, when my partner starts yapping about OT subjects, I just lose it. It's one thing to talk during sex in regards to the relevant topic, but that OT shit has got to stop. I hate it."
- Keith Alexander, on rec.arts.bodyart
"How many goth guys will a goth girl grope if a goth girl don't generally get which goths grep groping?"
- Basinke, on alt.gothic
"Stupid people are fun to fuck with, but pretentious people are even better, because they quote more philosophers."
- catalyst, on alt.gothic
"I didn't expect elitism from a goth."
- Chrissy Russell, on uk.people.gothic
"The rapidly approaching millennium offers a unique cultural opportunity. After many years of cut-and-paste, appropriation, detournement and neo-retro ahistoricality, postmodernity is about to end. Immediately after the...fin de siecle, there will be a sudden and intense demand for genuine novelty."
- Bruce Sterling
"I don't care if they love me or they hate me, as long as they know who I am."
- Wyatt
"Energy never dies, it just changes form."
- Single Gun Theory, "Fall"
"Everything black is not goth and everything goth is not black."
- Sign on a goth club in Buffalo, NY
"I've been goth since that accursed day when cruel fate had me ripped from my mother womb and darkness embraced me and all who bore witness to the events. Dark apathy and horror have surrounded me as I strive to fend of the crushing, annihilating darkness that has been set by destiny itself to destroy me. I am Goth the very depth of my blackened soul, where dark bile is pumped through my cursed veins and my cancerous organs, desperately battle for control over my pitiful shell of a body."
- Dag, on alt.gothic
"When I log in, it shall be forever."
- David Gerard, on alt.gothic
>And while I'm at it, fuck Anne Rice, that dried up old cunt who turned thousands of teenagers into warped reality Vampyres, by writing horrible wordy novels for a nominal sum of money. And fuck me for even reading one of her novels."
- Lesley LeKatzen, on alt.gothic
"The goths are beautiful, a vast depth of subcultural, aesthetic and poetic ideas, and we would identify with that as we did back in 1979. But not the post modern distortion...the costume without the brain."
- Peter Murphy
"I started goth, way back before VU, before Elvis, before Beethoven... It was ME. I admit it. I was sitting around one day, going hmm...you know people always make such HAPPY FUCKING music, there must be something sad, mournful, and somewhat bitter, yet it must not be too depressing and new-agey (you see, I knew then that people would not find that new-agey crap satifisying to their inner madness.) So, I created goth. And lo, the world was right."
- v. gabrielle, on alt.gothic
"The day that I hear "Cities in Dust" as background music on network news coverage of war in Iraq I will definitely be using my electric stapler and putting in my ear-plugs with superglue, to drown out the screams of endless laughter I'll be emitting between cries of endless woe."
- klaatu, on alt.gothic
"I am a vampire, although, due to some permit problems back in the Olde Country (you should see the lines at the DOV), I am no longer able to suck blood. I got to keep the fangs, but am forced to live only on Diet Pepsi. Back in college, I would have to keep moving from dorm to dorm, emptying the soda machines in the wee hours of the morning. Yeah, it's really uncool, and all the uppity bloodsuckers laugh at me, but they can laugh -- I am the only vampire able to not only stay up all night but *all day* as well."
- Sparky, on alt.gothic.fashion
"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying."
- Woody Allen
"Christ died for our sins. Dare we make his martyrdom meaningless by not committing them?"
- Jules Feiffer
"If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me."
- Alice Roosevelt Longworth
"I mean, we wouldn't want a baaayybeeee to see a bare breast, no sirree."
- mAlice on NO-Gothic, about Disney
"You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy."
- Erica Jong
"I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.
- Rita Rudner
"I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on."
- Roseanne
"When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country."
- Elaine Boosler
"Behind every successful man is a surprised woman."
- Maryon Pearson
"In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman."
- Margaret Thatcher
"Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry."
- Gloria Steinem
"If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck?"
- Linda Ellerbee
"The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity."
- Ellen Parr
"It is the fight alone that pleases us, not the victory."
- Blaise Pascal
"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity."
- Gilda Radner
"All I've ever been addicted to is sex and UNIX."
- Seumas, on alt.gothic
"Profuse vomiting, then gales of laughter, and finally pity."
"In happy times, love poured out of me like bright honey from a stolen hive. But in times of hurt and loss I withdrew into a self-made enclosure of impenetrable solitude, and the people who tried to touch me there--all of them--drew back in utter horror as I wounded them again and again for daring to love me when I knew my love was all corruption."
- PC
"You can only maintain an immensely gothic attitude for so long before either killing yourself or beginning to feel like a poser."
- Poppy Z. Brite
"The dialogue indicated that all other thoughts had departed; the desire to shag and to protect were all that remained."
- Duchess Rufus, on alt.gothic
"In Sexbat years...which have nothing to do with time as the rest of us experience it and everything to do with the height of your mohawk."
- Zoe, on alt.gothic
There is no cause. There is no movement. We just all like boots."
- Benton, on alt.gothic
"Dad, now that you've converted back to being jedi, I'm all pissed at you stealing all my lines. And yes, Leia is still pissed that you insisted that your lightsaber was a good way to cut the turkey at Thanksgiving dinner, and she won't talk to you until you buy the twins bikes. Luke Skywalker. (ps Mom still hates you for that walking out on us thing.)
- Oddlystrange, on alt.gothic
"It's like 'Mister Rogers Neighborhood' meets 'Debbie Does Dallas.'
- Tobi
"Logic is my only refuge when everything around me is illogical."
- Xia
"Lie to me! Tell me the truth! Lie to me! Tell me the truth! Lie to me! Tell me the truth! Lie to me! Lie to me! LIE TO ME!!!!!"
- aardor, on a.b.p-z-b, about erotic Pinocchio
"If you're going to go watch a band stare at their boots, you might as well come to our shows. Our boots are much more interesting."
- Paul Stanley of KISS, on modern angsty/grunge bands
"This might just be a reflection of the fact that they had really nice footwear. I often look at my shoes in the midst of performance, not because I'm shy, but because I have nice shoes."
- Rik of Mara's Torment, on "shoegazer" bands
"There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence."
- Jeremy S. Anderson
"Goth is a family. A large, disagreeable, incestuous family that is kinda funny looking and therefore disliked by all the other families around. One half of the family denies that the other half is even part of the same family. Other people disown themselves, and still others are always trying to get adopted, and there are still more who claim to be part of the family but arn't. Everyone thinks the girls in the family are easy. Etc."
- christopher john raehl
"The account has been served up with some fava beans and a nice chiante. I'd offer you some afterdinner mints but I had to eat them all to kill the taste. No matter how you hack it, spammers just don't appeal. The account has been terminated. Have a nice day. :)"
- Torquemada of rcn.net's Abuse Dept., in response to a LART
"That's 'him', you oh so supernaturally prescient skidmark on the underpants of 20th century occultism."
- Cavalorn, on alt.gothic
"Innocence is hell."
- Dolphin, in "Reflecting Skin"
"Pink is a transitional phase; black is the final state."
- David E. Pierce, on alt.gothic
"I seriously think all of Louisiana's modem connections are 2 guys, a long string with a cup tied to each end, screamming back and forth "111010001010101010101010!!"
- Gray, on NO-Gothic
"Pardon me while I go start a site with a hookup to the nat'l weather service so I can have a running forecast that will tell you when exactly the Glowing Orbs of TSM will rise over the horizon and sink past same. For that matter I'll have some horoscopes on there so you can tell when one of TSM's chunks'o'rock or giants'o'gas will be affecting your life based upon whatever one of my lifesigns you were born under. Those being; TSM's Crab, TSM's Goat, TSM's Scorpion, TSM's Fish, TSM's Guy with a Bow and Arrow, TSM's Lion, TSM's Saucy Virgin, TSM's Identical Twin Siblings, TSM's Un-gelded Steer, TSM's Refeshment Professional, TSM's Scales, and TSM's Other Fucking Goat."
- TSM, on alt.gothic about 'Deja Discussions'
"Choose a city. Choose a theme. Choose a vote. Choose a band. Choose a big venue. Choose watching the sunset from a boat, shuttle buses, international dj's and ethernet hookups.... choose too much alcohol and wondering who the you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting along side a kiddy pool watching mind-boggling, chocolate covered nekkid chicks, stuffing sushi into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing your last in someone elses hotel room, nothing more than an sated net.goth strewn over pics on the sites spawned to relive the whole thing again. Choose your future. Choose Convergence."
- Mika, about the c6@Seattle bid
"We're just an ordinary couple. But for slightly larger values of two."
- Siobhan, on polyamory
"I had been meaning to post that Ayn Rand was at my house the other night ramming my polished iron dildo up Hitler's ass while LAM was on the radio. But then Hitler, distressed at the House's recent failure to pass a gun control law, assumed submissive position # 16 and ended the session, a Marilyn Manson song came on the radio, Ayn started reciting the Ten Commandments, and Poppy wasn't there to say whether my Hot Topic outfit was goth or not, so I wasn't sure if this post would be on topic."
- Bruce Tucker, on alt.gothic
"We are the GBor. You will be re-assimilated. Resistance is terribly, terribly futile, don't you know."
- Paul, on alt.gothic
"But you're *my* ho."
- Aidan Skinner
"Na-na-na-na-na-na... bat tray!"
- Tobi Gaynair
"Monosodium Glutamate. C'mon, say it with me. Monosodium Gluta*mate*. *Mono*sodium Glutamate. Mono*sodium* Glutamate. Monosodum *Glu*tamate. Monosodium Glu*ta*mate. Mmmm.... MSG. Mmmmmm... chemicals..."
- Aidan Skinner, on the Babygoth list
"Y'all worship the devil, or cats, or sumthin'."
- Officer Brewer, Jefferson Parish Police Dept., Badge #839
"`Goth stuff' is stuff that goths like. So if you are a goth, and you like Tori Amos cd's or sending Hello Kitty invitations out for your roman-style orgy, then those things are "goth stuff". Goths are whole people, not just one pie slice."
- Xia
"Gother than Fuck, actually, I'm more goth then most goths anymore. I'm almost goth enough to be punk."
- Wyatt, on Babygoth
"Please, just ignore me. I'm being very, very dirty."
- Ron Cecchini, on alt.gothic
"Thank you disturbatrix, may I have another?"
- Xia
"I just discovered that necroangel in ROT-13 is arpebnatry... which must be the noun for the practise of indiscriminate flaming."
- Ian Sturrock, on alt.gothic
"She couldn't be glam if David Bowie sat on her face and wiggled."
- me
"Wow. And all this time I thought the way of existance was pixie stix, the holy potion / perfection of fizzy drink makers art was Jolt, and the meaning of life was any version of UNIX with the numbers 23 or 42 in them. Guess I was wrong."
- me, on alt.gothic, in response to Karl about Irn-Bru
"The plural of anecdote is not data."
- Siobhan, on alt.gothic
"WARNING: This commonly held ill-informed and judgmental misconception may not function as advertised or expected if not stored properly in the darkness of your ignorance. Avoid exposure to rational thought and careful consideration. DO NOT MIX with properly constructed syllogisms that cannot be refuted with logical fallacies. May cause you to appear a fool when moving your lips or operating other tools of communication."
- Rain, on alt.gothic
"C without pointers is like a stick without nails!"
- Aidan Skinner, on alt.gothic.pretentions
"And yea, did the sky darken and the bandwidth increase! Hark, for then did the net.goths raise their voices in praise of the omnipotent MGB, and offer sacrifices of spammer and troll heads for the manna they received. And the 4/78 rule was adhered to by all, and those who posted in binary and HTML were cast down into the bowels of 1200 baud Hell, doomed to suffer the agonies of slow downloads, random disconnects and timeouts, and poor line quality. So it was, and so shall it be, yea and verily."
- Dranith, on alt.gothic
"So it was coded, so shall it be compiled...."
- Gruamach, on alt.gothic, in response to the above
"My love is for everybody, my body isn't."
"Bill, can I fuck your soul then?"
- Bill and Aidan
"I've never wanted to be paper as much."
- me, watching Aidan roll a cigarette
"I've never been pressed, so how can I be repressed?"
- Bill
"If I call him a sausage, can I fly to Japan?"
- Bill
"Oh, you are a demon child tonight!"
- Bill, to Aidan
"I can't fit the entire thing in my mouth!"
- Bill
"Mmmm... bandwidth.... mmmmmmmm."
- Aidan, in an ev0l voice
"They're flopping around in my mouth!"
- Bill
"I will not rest until Bill is in orbit."
- Aidan
"You are my pipe and output redirection. You are my shell and prompt. You are my root password, and my SSH private key."
- Aidan, to me
"Are you haunting my room?"
- me, to Aidan
"When I start drooling, I know it's time to stop."
- Bill
"Dirty mind in progess. Please wait."
- me
"Well, she and Hitler were over here earlier, trying to talk me into a polyamorous relationship in which abortions would be mandatory, but I eventually got sick of it and had to chase them out with the handguns and assault weapons which I, as a free American, normally keep to protect me from an oppressive liberal government which wants to confiscate my property, and prevent me from hiring my maid for three cans of dogfood a day and the privilege of sleeping under my porch, as well as preventing me from analy raping Hitler with a polished iron dildo even if he is asking for it by dressing in short skirts with no underwear."
- Jack, invoking the thread-ending law on alt.gothic
"Disco satisfied social as well as musical needs. Disco people got to dress up all the time and go to places ... where everybody sort of 'looked good' - and later, after an evening of chemical alteration, everybody looked even better, and the next thing they knew, they were getting The Blox Job. Punk, in the late seventies, purported to be a rebellion against this sort of silly behavior. Maniac bands started thrashing away in dingy little places with no decor, developing their own silly behavior. ... New wave evolved from punk, basically, by sterilizing its own safety pin."
- Frank Zappa
"Hrm.... I suppose if you imagine a Life Lesson as being an event, and therefore something that tied in with an action, and therefore an energy form (that made the action perform), then yes. And since the energy form was in the action, and since the action was done by me, and since, then, I would have that life lesson in me, then I suppose I would need to be spanked. My, I like how that worked out!"
- Cassandra
"Trust your technolust."
- Gruamach, on alt.gothic
"Housekeeping tip. If you can't eat it, smoke it, or fuck it, you might as well throw it away. Come to think of it, that's a good rule for relationships as well."
- Siobhan, on alt.gothic
"I've always been amused by the term 'digital penetration'."
- Haydn, on alt.gothic
"Next thing you know they'll be singing "Love Will Tear Us Apart" and the caption will be, "Everyone in a Noose"."
- Nyx, on alt.gothic, about The Gap commercials
"Cloning just finished what the Gap started."
- Colin Quinn, Saturday Night Live
"Marriage is, for me, mostly a declaration to the public, in a language they understand, that we have this partnership and we intend it to be permanent. It says relatively little about our private lives, which are no one's business."
- Albatross, on alt.gothic
"What if they were telekinetic hamsters?"
- Smoke, on Babygoth, about powering spacecraft
"No, it is steered by the white shirt/pasta sauce method. See, a white shirt wants to get pasta sauce on it, so jets on the ship squirt out the pasta sauce and the shirts head for it. The hamsters sound cheaper if not for the fact that they don't provide the thrust that pasta sauce provide, and the fact that the cat/butter device is really a bomb that will annialate the universe."
- Smoke, on Babygoth, about hamsters again
"The folks in Hollywood would be happy to know that I finally found a dildo I liked... I accept your corsets to lead our party once again to the Dominatrices of the United States... It is for the people of America that I frolick here tonight, and by their generous leave. And as my speculum echoes across darkness and desert, as it is heard over car radios on coastal goths, and as it travels above farmland and suburb, deep into the heart of bongs that, from space, look tonight like strings of sparkling sheep, I can tell you that I know whose moment this is: It is Eris's. It is Eris's entirely."
- Bob Dole in the Demented MadLibs acceptance speech
"They're vile succubi."
- Tobi, about Xia and I
"Absolut Irn-Bru: Aye, it'll put hair on ye chest, lassie!"
- Diana Smith, on NO-Gothic
"Imagination is more important than knowledge."
- Albert Einstein
"I am confused of Borg. Your arse will be laminated."
- MiniGoth, on alt.gothic
"America is the new Roman Empire. Remember what happened to Rome."
- Eddie Izzard
"I always thought that was a bit silly. I mean, I wouldn't want to operate a tank while tripping..."
- Aidan Skinner, on uk.gay-lesbian-bi, about the 'War On Drugs'
"I pity the fool that messes with Narnia."
- Bill, in a Mr. T voice
"My universe just slid."
- Bill
"And then there's the Narnia one. Whom you should fear at all costs. House of Pain or not, she shall get you."
- Cassandra, about taking over the world
"Enough to cover my parched, Bru-less lips in a thin layer of the potion, and a gulp to soothe my parched, Bru-less throat, only to be left yearning for more."
- me to Cassandra, about the leftover Irn-Bru
"It was drugs. Then it was Usenet. Then it was online trading. Then it was ebay. Then it was sex. Now it's back to ebay."
- Cassandra
"To damn is to spank."
- Cassandra
"I'm so goth, whenever I burp, little bats fly out of my mouth. Little SAD bats."
- magdalene, on alt.gothic
"Personally, I like Pepto-Bismol and sardines."
- Karl, about rather kinky oral sex
"It's like having nightly caberet!"
- me, about Bill
"No, no, not after the porn star."
- Bill
"Now my nose is all sticky."
- Xia
"I can't even write that. That's too funny."
- me
"Those who do not understand Unix are condemned to reinvent it, poorly."
- Henry Spencer
"Like the wolverine, the goth is a solitary creature by nature, gathering in groups only to drink or as a preulde to mating (often both simultaneously). Goths have also been known to band together in response to an external threat, such as when one of their drinking spots is invaded by a group of Preppies. However, once the threat has been dealt with, the surviving Goths will often engage in savage, ritualistic gossip. Rumours have recently circulated that some of the more established Goth drinikng spots have large open pits out back, where alleged "poseurs" are taken to engage in mortal combat to prove their worthiness to join Gothic society..."
- Miss Felicity, on alt.gothic
"I'm the Perkygoth Supreme. Cry me a river, angst boy."
- Edvamp, on alt.gothic
" So you can say the world sucks, life's unfair, or whatever and be as negative, bitter, mopey as you want. Now you'll have to excuse me, I'm going clubbing."
- Edvamp, on alt.gothic, about perky vs. mopey
"You can tell a lot about a town by the fears of its cats."
- orion, on alt.gothic
"One time when someone asked me why I do the job I do, I was actually ready with an answer: It makes me feel like it matters that I exist."
- Gruamach, on alt.gothic
"The ultimate revenge is success."
- Gruamach, on alt.gothic
"Do what thou wilt, though it harm none. Love is the law, love under will."
- Alestair Crowley
"Once you get to know sad... she's got some sweet little dresses, you know?"
- Tori Amos, "Spin" magazine, 1994
"Look ma! A twitling!"
- Oddlystrange, on alt.gothic, in response to the word 'gothling'
"Usenet: where you don't need to think to have thoughts."
- David Gerard, on alt.gothic
"I slept with a woman once... and I thought, 'Am I gay? Am I straight?' Then I realized... I'm just slutty! Where's *my* parade?"
- Margaret Cho
"There are no unwholesome by-products of heterosexuality which could not be destroyed with glitter, some kind of ball, a VERY BIG stadium, dance music and a string of thermonuclear charges."
- Haydn, on alt.gothic
"Mmmmmm. Deathrocker legs."
- One Who Fascinets, on alt.gothic
"You make plenty of sense, in that 'I'm a maniac' sort of way."
- max, about me
"I was too busy trying to figure out why there was a 13yr old girl sleeping in a room with 4 20-something males, 3 cases of beer, and a milk crate full of condoms."
- Raphrat, on alt.gothic, about c5
"Let me tell you something, if it came down to me choosing between being you and being the ass-pad on Larry Flynt's wheelchair, I'd choose the ass-pad because having a fat, ugly, parapalegic sit on my face for sixteen hours a day still beats the prospect of opening my mouth and hearing your insufferable whiny bullshit come out of it."
- TSM, on alt.gothic
"I'm fat and I'm jolly, muthafucka's. Don't like what I get you, tough shit. Where are my damn cookies and milk?"
- Edvamp, on alt.gothic, on being Edvamp Claus
"In all fairness now there shold be a background check and a waiting period before you can buy or sell a goth... I mean that just makes sense, you dont want goths falling into the hands of just anyone."
- Koko, on alt.gothic
"She can be speaking for herself and her navel lint, if she feels like it."
- Nancy Kaffer, on list moderation
"Being around you is like taking lots of mood-altering substances all at once and having my emotions violently changing from one moment to the next..."
- anathema, about me
"I just was berating myself why I couldn't fall for a nice normal person, and have some kids... I'm my own Jewish mother!"
- anathema
"Kiss my net.facist boots, baby."
- Benton, on alt.gothic
"The tomatoes are yellow."
- Xia, in her sleep
"They're drawings of goths. How different can goths look?"
- Siobhan, on alt.gothic.pretentions
"I'm a fascist, not a sadist. Okay, I am a sadist, but not in that way."
- Rafe, on alt.gothic.prententions
"It's so normal for a teenager to dress in black -- and be real unhappy and stay in your room and say sarcastic things. How could something so normal be considered morbid?"
- Christina Ricci
"I need Chaos. I need to be the embodiment of the sex, drugs and rock n' roll lifestyle. I need to be infused with adrenaline. I want to feel the rush of an music video weekend. Pulsing beats, sweat beading up on silken skin, flirtatious, moving like liquid through reality. I want to be moving, thinking, so fast that shooting stars and fighter places move in slow motion. I want a posse of friends with similiar agendas and equal love for the lifestyle. I want it all and I want it to start tonight."
- JediChris
"The world must be all fucked up, when men travel first class and literature goes as freight..."
- Gabriel Garcia Marquez
"Remember, everyone you will ever date is a neurotic psycho. Keep this in mind, and you are all set."
- Wyatt, on babygoth
"I could never date anyone who used webtv or aol by choice."
- Benton Smith, on alt.gothic
"It's Frosty Christ! He melted for our sins!"
- Rafe, on alt.gothic.pretentions, about his crucified snowman
"Do you pay the supermarket people with money or do you wink and make gestures and comments suggesting that you might go home with them tonight in exchange for that steak?"
- Cheshire, on babygoth
"Incest is so passe."
- Wyatt, on babgoth
"I'm envisioning a bunch of industrial music fans sulking guiltily around a goth club, wishing ever so plaintively that they were *just* cool enough to listen to more gothic music... but oh, alas, alack - it can never be. They're just not nearly fortunate enough to to listen to music conducive to doing the find-yer-contact-lens swoopy dance. If they could but bring themselves to to buy that latest F&TM release, maybe they'd learn; but those damn German bands with steady beats keep jumping into their hands at the record store instead. Poor poseurs."
- Misha, on NO-Gothic, with complete sarcasm
"Has anyone noticed that Peter Murphy and Neil Diamond sound almost *exactly* alike?"
- Diana Smith, on NO-Gothic
"I consider your preference for not breeding to be a service to Usenet."
- Jennie Kermode, on uk.gay-lesbian-bi
"Why do I get the perfect image of Narnia swaying around a stage like Jim Morrison in leather pants and a poet shirt singing 'Come on, come on, come on now, touch me, Spider, can't you see / I am not monog...'"
- Endymion, on alt.gothic
"Goddamnit! They've built a Starbucks in the bitter corner!"
- Koko Martin Sama, on alt.gothic, about online relationships
"Please, pass the bitter."
- Benton, on alt.gothic, about online relationships
"An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may wound your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind."
- Buddha
"Nice boots(tm)? This is about the second or third reference I've read to boots... is this the makers name? Are they really that good on the feet?"
- David H. Ellison, on alt.gothic
"Twenty-seven years old, and I'm still not a diabolic supervillain. Personally, I blame the lack of colleges with a decent Villainy program. It's the whole 'how do you get archvillain experience without being an archvillain?' thing."
- Joseph Breitliner, on a seekrit list
"I've been a bad floppy, I need to be reformatted. Rewrite my partition table, baby..."
- Jason, anathema's boyfriend
"No finitely describable system, or finite language, can prove all truths. Truth cannot be fully caught in a finite net."
- G�del's Theorem
"You know you're starting to get over your self-esteem issues when you date someone almost exactly like you."
- Cassandra, about me
"It went too fast and ran me over, leaving me with nothing but Parkay."
- Cassandra, about thought processes
"Hey Alex, it's that Yankee woman again."
- The person answering the phone at the UK shipping company
"We are slaves to Big Brother... make the sign of the Ford, eat your soylent green, and give in. No hope, no choices, nothing. We are automatons... and remember that Big Brother is watching You."
- Jack Faust, on a seekrit list
"I have never met, nor seen a Narnia, yet it makes me think of cold snowy drifts, white trees, scary women, and hot chocolate just to see your handle."
- maggot, on alt.gothic
"Every newsgroup needs it's own resident spooge snorting rim licking bitch, and as you posess all the necessary training in your previous incarnation as a dime store fuck repository, you'll do fine."
- Canticle, on alt.gothic, to Suidicial Wi?ch
"Welcome to alt.gothic. The only club where you get to be a member just by refusing to go away."
- Siobhan, on alt.gothic
"You're about as scary as a small puppy romping through a field of daisies, dear."
- me, on alt.gothic, to Aidan
"And, if all else fails, never forget that you ate lunch with Sexbat."
- TSM, to me on alt.gothic, about depression
"Experiencing the Internet with WebTV is kind of like viewing a Monet through a fishbowl filled with piss."
- Canticle, on alt.gothic
"Does deepthroat have a dash between deep and throat?"
- me, attempting spelling accuracy
"Dear Dr. Rev. David Gerard: It seems that your star charts are out of order. By your calculations, the breast thread should have been next on the Celestial Calendar of alt.gothic. As you can see, the Gun Thread has moved into the first house and is exerting it's influence on the people of alt.gothic. I think that we can attribute this dramatic change to the dim showing of the constellation Boobie. The star Elixxer has not been seen in many months, and the stars Oddly and Twilight have moved beyond the rim. The Sex Thread will make it's presence known for the next week or so, but I feel that the Gun Thread will spawn several Political Threads in the coming moons, and that the planets Internal Flame Fest and Endless Fluff Poll are soon to come on the horizon. Your Horror-scope: Take cover. Take cover. Take cover."
- Benton, on alt.gothic
"The difference between goths and industrial people is that goths are all angry and want to kill themselves, and industrial people are all angry and want to kill goths."
- Per, on alt.gothic and rec.music.industrial
"This quote made me think about all of the rivetheads and goths I know. Most of the rivetheads are usually kinda small, skinny kids while many of the goths I know are pretty big guys. Almost like the rivetheads need to attach themselves to a more aggressive scene to seem tougher (like skinheads and metalheads used to do) while big goth guys are secure in our masculinity enough to know we are the shit and can listen to goth without giving a shit what some 108 lbs rivethead thinks cos I can slap him around like a little bitch."
- Edvamp, on a.g. and r.m.i, about Per's quote
"Tactical nuclear strikes would not have stopped Thatcher. She would have sat there lighting a cigarette from between her smoking labia while the rest of the irradiated nation burned."
- Canticle, on alt.gothic
"Goths spend all their time arguing how everything is really goth. Rivetheads spend all their time arguing why nothing is really industrial."
- eschaton, on a.g. and r.m.i
"Industrial records began as an investigation... We wanted to re-invest Rock music with content, motivation and risk. Our records were documents of attitudes and experiences and observations by us and other determinedly individual outsiders. Fashion was an enemy, style irrelevant."
- Genesis P-Orridge
"Who do I date? Geeks. Plain and simple. Why? because they are smart."
- Lady Greycat, on alt.gothic
"And male nipples can be very useful. Very useful and pleasurable indeed."
- Mare, on alt.gothic.fashion, in a sex thread
"... Or teach the SO damn good oral and digital sex techniques. Feeengers, not like, Palm Pilot sex."
- ratty, on alt.gothic fashion, in a sex thread
"But dicks in skirts, well, that's not something every girl can get."
- Flight, on alt.gothic
"It doesn't make any difference where you were dancing or what you were dancing to fifteen years ago. You are not history. You're just some dude."
- Dr. Trevorkian, on a.g and r.m.i
"Deep in our blind hearts, we know that punk was actually as rebellious as cutting the crusts off your cucumber sandwiches, goth is a long-running joke whose objects are those who take it seriously, and industrial's anger is just an act with as much resemblance to the actual emotion as soft-core simulated sex has to wild animal fucking."
- Benton, on a.g and r.m.i
"As the people here grow colder, I turn to my computer. Spend my evenings with it like a friend."
- Kate Bush
"Poets say science takes away from the beauty of the stars--mere globs of gas atoms. Nothing is 'mere.' I too can see the stars on a desert night, and feel them. But do I see less or more?"
- Richard Feynman
"Love is the passionate and abiding desire on the part of two or more people to produce together conditions under which each can be, and spontaneously express, their real self -- to produce together an emotional climate and an intellectual soil under which each can flourish, far superior to what either could achieve alone."
- Anonymous
"...For even as Love crowns you, so shall He crucify you. Tho Love's wings may enfold you, be careful for the sword Hidden among his pinions may wound you. Even as He is for your growth, So is He for your pruning. Love is sufficient unto Love."
- Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet
"The selfsame well from which your laughter arises is oftentimes filled with your tears."
- Kahlil Gibran
"I say I'm in love with her. What does that mean? It means I review my future and my past in the light of this feeling. It is as though I wrote in a foreign language that I am suddenly able to read. Wordlessly, she explains me to myself. Like genius, she is ignorant of what she does."
- Jeanette Winterson
"We are all secretly librarians in monasteries for the damned."
- duchess rufus, on alt.gothic
"Post harder, post faster, aaaah, aaaah, aaaaaahhhh."
- Aidan, getting entirely too involved with Usenet
"You are perfectly able to exercise your rights as an American citizen if you are willing to pay cash to do so."
- An anonymous American attorney
"Guns don't kill people, Americans kill people!"
- Taylor James Zingsheim, on alt.gothic
"Everyone who listens to the music owns it in one way or another because they make that music their own. It takes on characteristics in their life due to the memories and the emotion attached to the music. The musicians, publishers, and record companies may 'own' it to the degree that they make money from it, but it is for everyone to own in the sense that everyone makes the music theirs."
- nightmare, on a.g and r.m.i
"Name your baby Dingo, move to the Australian outback, feed your kid to the dingoes, then you can run around screaming "A dingo ate my Dingo! A dingo ate my DINGO!"
- Goblin, on alt.gothic
"Bloody hell, I'm making the mistakes a Brit would!"
- Gregoire Kretz, on uk.gay-lesbian-bi
"I, weary, how much I thought I knew about love, and how little I know."
- Bernart de Ventadorn, 12th century Troubadour poet
"They were blood-crazed sex nymphs. Basically, picture a roving band of nekkid cannibal hotties. Like Convergence."
- Empty, on alt.gothic
"And then there they were, always hot and clean and yellow and full of promise, always throbbing with heating and water pipes that sang and whistled and as they did their work. And everything interconnected, everything going on it's it's own private pathway to wherever it went. It' like being in a map - not reading a map but being inside a map. Like the plan of something rather than the thing itself. It's like the essence of the hospital down here - you know what I mean?"
- Susanna Kaysen, Girl, Interrupted
"That is just because I'm a scary crack-monkey that no one would go to bed with sober. Thank god for alcohol."
- Hardrock Llewynyth, on alt.gothic
"Psycho can just be another word for incredibly perceptive and creative."
- me, on alt.gothic, to klaatu
"I wouldn't piss on your pubes if your cunt was on fire."
- Kris, on alt.gothic
"A.g. is my smack."
- Siobhan, on alt.gothic
"Great, now I respect you. Thanks a whole fuck of a lot."
- Canticle, on alt.gothic, to Flight
"I don't use a fish to screw in a nail. I don't use HTML on usenet."
- Jon Ward, on uk.gay-lesbian-bi
"Poofs are rarely pure, and never simple."
- Auslander, on uk.gay-lesbian-bi
"You're socially bulletproof unless you forget you're socially bulletproof."
- Letterbomb, on alt.gothic
"Real generosity towards the future lies in giving all to the present."
- Albert Camus
"Giving something away is the ultimate subversive act in a society the economic system of which is structurally based on greed and egotism."
- Anonymous
"I... keep trying to find a way to become what I'd like to be and what I could be if... if only there were no other people in the world."
- Anne Frank
"The only unnatural act is the one that isn't possible."
- Kinsey
"It does get a bit cheesy at times, like totally over-dramatic, but it's a bunch of people in tights being vampires and such, what do you expect?"
- Virika, on alt.gothic, about the Dracula ballet
"If I wanted a meaningless, money-based relationship, I'd buy myself a gold-plated, jewel encrusted vibrator."
- LLuna6, on alt.gothic
"Every writer begins as a subversive, if in nothing more than the antisocial means by which he earns his keep. Finally, every fantasist who cannibalizes himself knows that misfortune is his friend, that grief feeds and sharpens his fancy, that hatred is as sufficient a spur to creation as love (and a world more common) and that without an instinct for lunacy he will come to nothing."
- Geoffrey Wolff
"Unix, Unix everywhere, and not a 'doze in sight."
- Tom Jordaan, on uk.gay-lesbian-bi
"Soylent purple -- it's Barney, I tell you, it's Barney!"
- Deep China Blue Seas, on alt.gothic
"Corporations, however, are no different than governments and anyone that chooses to think differently is fooling themselves."
- Canticle, on alt.gothic
"Black clothes and purple hair do not a sex-crazed hedonistic sociopathic drug freak make."
- JaneA, on PrideGoth
"The upshot of this being, yes Bill, I believe I could fit your entire head into my cunt, given enough time, and enough lube."
- Xia, to Bill, on Sheep
"Yeah, there's nothing in the world like doing what I do, but you know it's really galled me that the uniforms are -blue-, just never seemed quite right to me. That's the kind of thing I think about, you know, after shift. After I've gotten home, I'll put on my eyeliner, and curl up with a book full of Victorian poetry, and that's what I'll think about, why aren't our damn uniforms -black?-"
- TSM, about Gru, on alt.gothic
"Ordinary simply means that you're persuing something you're not good at."
- Oddlystrange, on alt.gothic
"Torn between subcultural duty and base desire. A misfit! Doomed to wander the Earth, neither a goth nor a raver being. An exile from both Heaven and Hell. Alone. Misunderstood. Forever."
- Letterbomb, on alt.gothic
"I am not an angry girl, but it seems like I have everyone fooled. Everytime I say something they find hard to hear they chalk it up to my anger and never to their own fears. And imagine you're a girl just trying to finally come clean, Knowing full well they'd perfer you were dirty and smiling. And I am sorry, but I am not a maiden fair, and I am not a kitten stuck up a tree somewhere."
- Ani DiFranco
"You suck, you have nothing left to live for, you are a failure in the first degree and you life is a black, black void without the smallest point of light. And your boots, they are not nice. They are scungy."
- Haydn, on alt.gothic
"I have no problem with Christ, but in my experiences Christians are rarely Christ-like."
- Dalai Llama
"Any PC built after 1985 has the storage capacity to house an evil spirit."
- Reverend Jim Peasboro
"If I do the time warp one more time I'm going to blow somebody's friggin' head off."
- Smoke, on babygoth, about Rocky Horror
"Americans have the right to bear arms. Canadians have the right to bare breasts. Where would you rather live?"
- tee-shirt slogan
"I think people are doomed to meet the ones whose sexual ice cream preference is wrong for the syrup."
- Sarah Dorrance, on PrideGoth
"I've always found to be the words 'butt plug' are a great conversation stopper at a table full of people."
- Siobhan, on PrideGoth
"I must admit, sometimes i peer under the covers while my partner is asleep just to look at his cock; if it's limp, i think it's sweet, & if it's hard, i think it's time to wake him up."
- Ladybee, on alt.gothic.fashion
"If the Internet is down it's TSM's fault. Reboot..."
- Haydn, on alt.gothic, about the ag reality distortion field
"Homosexuality is never vanilla. Vanilla with fudge swirl, maybe."
- Albatross, on alt.gothic
"Show me the person who is not ignorant, i.e. please demonstrate to me how your use of the word "ignorant" is not semantically null."
- Bigby Findrake, on a seekrit list
"Ignoramus, n. A person unacquainted with certain kinds of knowledge familiar to yourself, and having certain other kinds that you know nothing about."
- Ambrose Bierce
"All we are saying is that there is a time and place for government to step out of the way and allow for the only prerequisite for a successful marriage to be love, not gender or sex, but love."
- Jascha Jabes, Liberal Youth (Can.) spokesperson
"Fingernails on scalp. Tongue-tips on vertebrae. Breasts grazing the stomach. Wet hair dragging up the chest. Me, in the bathroom. Back In Five."
- Empty, on alt.gothic, in a sex thread
"I would go out tonight, but I haven't got a stitch to wear -- Hey, Piggy! Fozzie, what do you say?"
- Robert Herrick, on alt.gothic, about Morrisey's voice
"I have a kernel in development."
- lee, on being pregnant
"Immortality is only unworrisome for those who fancy themselves gods."
- Matthew King, on alt.gothic
"It's common knowledge that, in the computer science degree, 'c' means 'complete' and 'd' means 'done'."
- Indigo Shift
"To someone who loves tattoos, bare skin is the most precious thing in the world."
- Cher
"I love the smell of Quaker Oats Napalm in the morning."
- gnat!, on alt.gothic.fashion
"First there is that sense of something omenous building over you, a strange, primeval power you shouldn't be defying - and yet you do. The first drops hit like small bombs, really, an unusual stimulation reaching most parts of your body, like a massage from the gods. And then you feel like in a giant shower, there's turmoil, contradictory feelings tearing you in separate directions, the impression that your brain has surrendered and that all you are is a boiling volcano of sensations."
- Gr�goire Kretz, on uk.gay-lesbian-bi, about storms
"Machines certainly can solve problems, store information, correlate, and play games - but not with pleasure."
- Leo Rosten
"hee hee! dickinacup!"
- Siani Evans, on alt.gothic
"Goth was the bleak outlook of a war that went on too long. The dark sounds and the melancholy were indicative of 'the world's fucked up and there's nothing we can do about it.' Punk was all about fighting, goth was what happened when the fighting went on too long and people got tired of fighting."
- The Evil Chemist/jv, on alt.gothic
"The fact that things like the goth goose, and all that other back-stabbing sniveling shit is not only approved, but gets thousands of hits, to me speaks volumes. A socitey of outsiders and thinkers have seen the enemy in the shaving mirror, and now are their own self consuming being of status competeting, gother-than-thou, leg humping, ego stroking asses."
- Jealousy, on alt.gothic
"Without the true emotions, it becomes nothing but a pretty facade that appeals only to the lost souls in the world who don't care how hollow their illusions are, because their own lives have become hollow."
- Gruamach, on alt.gothic, about goth
"There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in their home."
- Ken Olson, President of DEC, World Future Society Convention, 1977
"Nobody suffers the pain of birth or the anguish of loving a child in order for presidents to make wars, for governments to feed on the substance of their people, for insurance companies to cheat the young and rob the old."
- Lewis Lapham
"So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence."
- Bertrand Russell
"Your online persona doesn't look as good in a corset."
- Gray, on a seekrit list, to me
"For most sets of axioms, there are true theorems that cannot be deduced."
- Goedel's Incompleteness Theorem
"I wear makeup and dress this way because I think it makes me look better. I am not doing it to get people to stare at me. If I wanted to do that I could just put a pot on my head, wear a wedding dress, and run screaming down the street."
- Boy George
"Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic."
- Arthur Clarke
"To the rational mind, nothing is inexplicable... only unexplained."
- Dr. Who
"Love isn't about risk reduction, or finding the safest thing. It isn't about minimizing hurt. It isn't about finding the right thing. It can't be reduced to a list of pros and cons without leaving out the heart of the matter. Intellectualize all day long, and you'll still know nothing."
- Albatross, on alt.gothic
"What is love if it isn't putting someone on a pedestal?"
- Albatross, on alt.gothic
"Yes, but what good is New Zealand? Sure, it's an easy target, but, well, I'd rather invade England. Think of the shopping!"
- Greylock, on alt.gothic, about LOTR movie
"To the minds of the great majority, there is no difference between speaking Truth and speaking well."
- Edvamp, on alt.gothic
"Singing is a spiritual purging and a physical means of emotional expression."
- The Evil Chemist, on alt.gothic
"No one became a better person by sitting on their ass and moaning about how other people ruined things for them. They became better people because they rose above them."
- Canticle, on alt.gothic
"Once I realized that I don't have to do something `meaningful' with my life, I was able to find meaning in all the `insignificant' things I'd been doing all along."
- Iachus, on alt.gothic
"I think you become most alive when you are arguing some politcal ideal."
- Jason Smith aka Lovecraft, to me
"In her eagerness to tell us what's what, Dr. Laura has announced that God makes mistakes. What else could a 'biological error' be? It means that God made everyone, but was distracted by an ice cream truck when He was working on Andy Dick and Gertrude Stein and failed to do a Martha Stewart-quality job. In queers, Dr. Laura has seen His work and she has judged it to be poor."
- Columnist Liz Langley in the Miami Herald
"I don't think intelligence is the thing, really. I think the thing is the ability to manipulate your consciousness. To use all of what you got, no matter how much or how little it is, in such a way that you live life in a way that works for you. That is continually challenging and rewarding. That's the holy grail."
- Meevin, on a seekrit list
"The absence of connection will wrap itself around your heart like a taproot, sucking and sucking, consuming, spreading to breasts and belly, forearms and thighs, so you can feel every fucking vein that was full of connection before, individually, and feel that they are empty."
- rufus, on alt.gothic, about the end of love
"And if I leave you now, it doesn't mean that I love you any less. It is just the state I'm in - I can't be good to anyone else like this."
- Sarah McLachlan, "Fumbling Towards Ecstasy"
"`Perky Wand?' When it's flaccid, is it a `Mopey Wand?'"
- spidermonster, on alt.gothic, about cocks
"Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so a simple phrase like `maybe we should be friends' or `how very perceptive' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a body-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. Nothing should be able to do that. Especially not love. I hate love."
- Rose, in "Sandman" ~62
"The sooner you make your first 5000 mistakes, the sooner you will be able to correct them."
- Nicolaides
"What use is magic if it can't save a unicorn?"
- Peter S. Beagle, "The Last Unicorn"
"Ninety percent of life is just about showing up. Five percent is about trying harder than the other guy, and the other five percent is simply having proper expectations."
- Mark Greene, on alt.gothic
"Life is installation art - only in the living does life have any meaning. We must live life as artists who create transient installation art - with passion and love and pain and courage and a ravenous hunger for truth and beauty. To look for an ultimate god to tell us how to live is to live as a student, too frightened to venture forth alone. To look for a summing up by an ultimate being is to need critics and reviewers to tell us what we have meant by our work. Ultimately, we must undertake the lonely frightening task of making our own lives and accepting that we are the creator and the art and the sand grains blown away by the wind. It does not matter if we build of mortar and bricks, or of swansdown and thistle fur. What matters is the act of creation. I believe that art does not imitate life, nor life art - life is art, and we must strive to make of it a masterpiece, for it is all there is."
- Isobelle Carmody
"After punk rock, we had a complete unfettered individualism. After that, it was a matter of taking a step back and discovering a sense of meaning."
- Boyd Rice
"The best baby carriages cost $400 - $500! We've decided we're going to have an indoor baby."
- Brian Kiley
"Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it."
- Laurance Peter
"Sometimes I wish I were a cannibal - less for the pleasure of eating someone than for the pleasure of vomiting him."
- Cioran
"I hope that I still have the (a) chutzpah, (b) audacity, and (c) balls to scream about how much fun SM is when i am 35."
- Anna, on babygoth, about NIN
"All my life I wanted to be someone; I guess I should have been more specific."
- Jane Wagner
"Well, if you can't believe what you read in a comic book, what *can* you believe?"
- Bullwinkle J. Moose (Jay Ward)
"You don't deserve the love I have to offer you, and I hate you for not wanting it."
- Helena
"I simply say `pit rat' because it's easier than typing out `someone who can go to harvard square at any given time, with no money, and most likely see someone whom you know'."
- Iron Man, on the Harvard Square list
"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man."
- Mark Twain
"There are really not many jobs that actually require a penis or a vagina, and all other occupations should be open to everyone."
- Gloria Steinem
"A good question is never answered. It is not a bolt to be tightened into place but a seed to be planted and to bear more seed toward the hope of greening the landscape of idea."
- John Ciardi
"Animals who are not penguins can only wish they were."
- "Chicago Reader", 10/15/82
"Actually... they're *all* the same movie... that's why Hollywood films are like visits from old friends!"
- Ajax, in "Duckman"
"Everybody is equally lost and confused. The only thing that differentiates them is how well they know it."
- Lilith, on a seekrit list
"Life would be so much easier if we could just look at the source code."
- Anonymous
"It's kind of fun to do the impossible."
- Walt Disney
"My biggest problem with the IBM is the `keyboard clit' joystick mouse thingy."
- Dragon, on a seekrit list
"Absinthe tasted like tomorrow. I'm still waiting."
- Rev. wRy, on a seekrit list
"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot- proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning."
- Anonymous
"Minds are like parachutes: most people use them only as a last resort."
- Ben Ostrowsky
"Some programming languages manage to absorb change, but withstand progress."
- Epigrams in Programming, ACM SIGPLAN Sept. 1982
"Newbie? i've been alive for 20 years, going on 21. Newbie in the terms of AGE over YEARS CIVILIZATION EXISTANCE, yes. Newbie in terms of anything else? No."
- Ryan, on the Harvard Sq. list
"A language that doesn't have everything is actually easier to program in than some that do."
- Dennis M. Ritchie
"Aw, hell. If there are no cowboys in hotpants, I'm staying home."
- Jason Puckett, on mooncalf list
"We don't care about dolphins dying and not tuna cause dolphins are cute and tuna aren't; in case you were confused, we _eat_ tuna and not dolphins, thus the tuna are dying for a point whilst the dolphins were just, I dunno, like the apocryphal roach part quotient in commercial candy."
- Nancy Kaffer, on a seekrit list
"Ever notice that anti-abortionists are people you wouldn't want to fuck anyway?"
- George Carlin
"It's like picking on a Muppet. A lovable, sometimes drunk, libidonous Muppet, but all the same..."
- Scott, on mooncalf, about Jason
"Stupidity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results."
- Einstein
"It's one thing to ask someone to be polite, it's another to ask them to stop complaining and accept persecution by the majority."
- Joseph Breitreiter, on a seekrit list
"Go back to Massachusetts, pinko!"
- Homer Simpson
"my opinions are
far more superior than
anyone elses"
- Turtle, in haiku form
"The very ink with which all history is written is merely fluid prejudice."
- Mark Twain
"If you're afraid of gaining weight, have two shots of cognac before the meal. It numbs the fear."
- Chyle, on sheep
"Sanity is the trademark of a weak mind."
- Mark Harrold
"The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues."
- Elizabeth Taylor
"It is against the grain of modern education to teach children to program. What fun is there in making plans, acquiring discipline in organizing thoughts, devoting attention to detail, and learning to be self-critical?"
- Alan Perlis
"The only people for me are the mad ones - the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow Roman candles."
- Jack Kerouac, "On the Road"
"If you want to understand your government, don't begin by reading the Constitution. It conveys precious little of the flavor of today's statecraft. Instead, read selected portions of the Washington telephone directory containing listings for all the organizations with titles beginning with the word 'National'."
- George Will
"In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite."
- Paul Adrien Maurice Dirac
"An ounce of breast milk is more potent than the finest tequila."
- Tori Amos, upon feeding her baby for the first time
"You sound like Bob Barker taken a horrible, mescaline-driven twist."
- Sola, on alt.gothic, to Deviancy
"Apply a pair of wire cutters (~6 dollars at your local hardware store) to piece of CAT-5. Plug the end with the RJ-11 connector into your NIC, and plug the other end into the substrate of a common houseplant(species unimportant.) Voila! You are now hackproof. As an added bonus, you get a 10megabit connection with root access."
- Empty, on alt.gothic
"The answer to bad speech is not censorship, but more speech."
- Hugo Black
"Believe me, nothing you could say about her would offend me at this point. And there's at least a 50% chance it would be true."
- Poppy Z. Brite, on alt.gothic, about Courtney Love
"Dude, this would make a great bong... pot doesn't lead to hard drugs, it leads to fuckin' carpentry!"
- Denis Leary
"You don't have to have green hair, but you don't have *not* to have green hair, either."
- Huey Lewis
"Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen."
- Albert Einstein
"Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example."
- La Rouchefoucauld
"The notion of a `record' is an obsolete remnant of the days of the 80-column card."
- Dennis M. Ritchie
"The friend who holds your hand and says the wrong thing is made of dearer stuff than the one who stays away."
- Barbara Kingsolver
"A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your successes."
- Doug Larson
"If you are the sender of this spam mail, please behave; SEEDNet will transfer your spam mail to your ISP, and certain penalty will surely fall upon you."
- Autoresponder from an ISP in Taiwan
"The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man."
- George Bernard Shaw
"If god had meant for man to sleep... he would have made him sleepy."
- exile, on alt.gothic
"Good OS's have philosophies behind them. Bad OS's have marketing."
- Aidan Skinner, on alt.gothic
"Of course, once in a while it's nice to suck the chocolate off both Twix simultaniously. If you time it right you can get to the gooey bit in both at the same time."
- Kapitano, on uk.gay-lesbian-bi
"You have the power *and* you're the man. No, wait, I'm the man!"
- Aidan Skinner
"If you cannot convince them, confuse them."
- Harry S. Truman
"It's not a good idea to let a kid near a container with a skull and crossbones on it, because there might be a skeleton costume inside, and the kid could put it on and really scare you."
- Sola, on alt.gothic
"The point is: For people who understand what (News/)Usenet is, there *is* no alternative. *That* will keep it alive."
- Frank Slootweg
"Yes, she's highly attractive to other water buffalo."
- noogieesz@cwcom.net, on uk.gay-lesbian-bi, about Ann Widdecombe
"Could the powers of naughty have backfired?"
- Christal, on a seekrit list
"I find the format 'statement:supporting-argument:supporting-argument: speaking-out-of-my-ass:supporting-argument:random-babble:supporting-argument: conclusion:stupid-sig' works quite well. You might want to try it."
- Wyatt, on babygoth
"The second most absurd notion is that copulation is inherently bad."
- Robert Heinlein
"Perfection is nature's imperfection."
- jade, on babygoth
"Columbine spoke to a larger issue, and it's really a matter of culture. It's a culture that somewhere along the line we begun to disrespect life, where a child can walk in and have their heart turn dark as a result of being on the Internet, and walk in and decide to take somebody else's life." - George Bush, the complete asshole, presidential debate, October 11, 2000
"A tax cut is really one of the anecdotes to coming out of an economic illness."
- George W. Bush, who meant to say "antidotes"
"Nothing makes one so vain as being told that one is a sinner. Conscience makes egotists of us all."
- Oscar Wilde
"We can't be so fixated on our desire to preserve the rights of ordinary americans."
- Bill Clinton (USA Today, 3/11/93 PG. 2-A)
"I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling me this."
- Emo Phillips
"If you really want to protect the children, you need to protect their First Amendment rights. If you don't, you're mortgaging in so many ways what those who preceded you built."
- WWF chief Vince McMahon
"If I paint my 'What is goth' question black, will it be what KMFDM stands for?"
- Aidan
"You are the epitomy of all that is wrong with America. You are a cloistered, closed-minded, clue impervious idiot, who is as psychologically incapable of comprehending any religious issue as a penguin is physically incapable of flight. You are a spoon."
- Siani Evans, on alt.gothic
"There's this balance between being tolerant of intolerance and promoting greater tolerance for all."
- kest, on alt.gothic
"If this don't get the damn heathens to convert, *nothing* will."
- Siobhan, on alt.gothic, about the reason for Catholic schoolgirl outfits
"Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers."
- T.S. Eliot
"Windows is like the Britney Spears of operating systems."
- Dag, on alt.gothic.pretentions
"A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices."
- William James
"A conservative is a man who believes that nothing should be done for the first time."
- Alfred E. Wiggam
"Please let me know when the CIA plot to make us think you're a stupid bitch enters the next phase."
- Kapitano, on uk.gay-lesbian-bi, to a paranoid troll
"Oh, supervene on me, baby! In _all_ possible worlds!"
- Morbid Curiousity, on alt.gothic, about metaphysical discussion during sex
"Well, it's easier to say than oh-seemingly-random-fluctuations- of-the-space-time-continuum-that-may-or-may-not-have-some- metaphysical-existence-outside-the-physical-universe-rather- than-being-some-emergent-property-of-the-chaotic-system-we- live-in, don't you think? Ooooh, right there... mmmm...."
- Morbid Curiousity, on alt.gothic, about discussing deities during sex
"There are two kinds of people in the world. people who like new york, even when they hate it, and people who *want* to like new york, but just can't manage it."
- fx, on alt.gothic
"The best revenge is giggling at your enemies' futures."
- Xia
"You'd sleep with with someone you've killfiled? You have no morals whatsoever!"
- me, to Aidan
"Have you never noticed how, if you plot the positions of any given goths on a dance floor, they almost always look sort of slightly like some significant constellation might have looked 10000 years ago, if you squint?"
- H. Duffy, on uk.people.gothic
"It's not them, it's you. It's not there, it's here. It's not then, it's now."
- Leonard Jacobson
"A huge rubber man in red, shagging a clock tower does not fill me with festive fun."
- Lucy Bond, on alt.gothic.fashion
"Is marijuana addictive? Yes, in the sense that most of the really pleasant things in life are worth endlessly repeating."
- Richard Neville
"This guy was in one of the badly flooded areas in England and sent a post the effect that his basement was flooding, the power was out he had about 20 minutes left on the UPS battery on his computer and he still had to somehow shift a large server out of the basement before the water rose high enough to kill it completely. When you are facing all that and still prioritise to post to usenet then you know you're a true addict."
- Dag, on alt.gothic.pretentions
"Love is giving someone else the power to hurt you, trusting them not to, forgiving them when they do, and knowing when it's time to let go."
- Una, on alt.gothic
""I don't have a net.dick. I have a net.cunt. Moreover, I do not wave it, I sashay it."
- EdwardS, on alt.gothic
"Facts are stupid things."
- Ronald Reagan, 1988 Republican Convention
"Far be it for anyone to infringe on your rights to infringe on the rights of others."
- nightshade, on alt.gothic
"Screw it. If I can walk to the UK, I'll walk on dick. Net.dick or not. Hell, I'll slide on the net.dick, if it makes it more comfortable for ya."
- pixie, on alt.gothic
"...unusually incurious, abnormally unintelligent, amazingly inarticulate, fantastically uncultured, extraordinarily uneducated, and apparently quite proud of all these things."
- Vanity Fair writer Christopher Hitchens, about George W. Bush
"Sex without love is an empty experience, but, as empty experiences go, it's one of the best."
- Woody Allen
"I have a little firefly in me!"
- iphigenia, about being pregnant, on alt.gothic.fashion
"I am, of course, a member of the metropolitan, liberal elite. I am for gay rights, asylum-seekers, the euro, metric measurements, devolution, feminism, dearer petrol, fewer cars, intervening in Sierra Leone, change, reggae and experimenting with exotic foods. But, strangely, I seek to impose few of my own lifestyle choices on others. I may want abortion to be available to my family, should they require it, but I don't demand that everyone be forced to have an abortion. Just as I might think it was right to allow adults to decide how to manipulate the sexual organs of themselves and their partners, so I am happy for Lady Young to find her pleasure as she sees fit. It's her buggering everyone else around I object to."
- David Aaronovitch, in the Independent, 15/11/00
"The world changes us whether we want it to or not. If we are lucky enough or tough enough we can maybe change some part of the world."
- Siobhan, on alt.gothic
"Please, enlighten us with more classist, bigoted diatribe against the lazy, worthless masses, and tell us that if only they'd get a fucking job your taxes would just come right back in a big fat check with a couple of free passes to Disneyland."
- maggot, on alt.gothic
"MORAL CRUSADE - Public activity undertaken by middle-aged men who are cheating on their wives or diddling little boys. Moral crusaders are particularly popular amongst those seeking power for their own personal pleasure, politicians who can't think of anything useful to do with their mandates and religious professionals suffering from a personal inability to communicate with their god. In military terms, a diversionary tactic."
- John R. Saul, _The Doubter's Companion_
"When a nation's young men are conservative, its funeral bell is already rung."
- Henry Ward Beecher
"We've got to come up with a term for Bush's comments. Shrubbish?"
- Ren, on alt.gothic
"You can wear black at any time. You can wear it at any age. You may wear it on almost any occasion. A little black frock is essential to a woman's wardrobe. I could write a book about black."
- Christian Dior, c. 1954
"I think there's a large, untapped market in computer faith healing. I say this largely because, if I ever end up doing another Unix admin gig, I want robes. And a staff with DAT tapes and sbus cards hanging from it. I think this would greatly enhance my ability to drive out evil spirits. I'd also like to have irritating users executed for heresy. You know, this could be the basis of a hugely successful IT outsourcing death cult. Dammit. I need venture capital. And a business plan. And the ability to turn into a snake."
- Joseph Breitreiter, on a seekrit list
"I work on games, so if it's been a long day, or week, or month, and I'm driving home I'll look at trees and go 'Wow, it's so realistic, what a fantastic texture' or 'The curves in the road are so smooth, you can hardly see the edges of the polygons' or 'How'd they make that grass look like it's not tiling.' That's when I know I need a weekend of good sleep."
- Lorian, on a seekrit list
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