What a disaster of a fucking year. The only thing that went well was my initiation at Modern Mystery School, but even that was marred by contracting yet another entity from another "energy healer". Truly, truly I am in hell.
Maybe illumination lies in wait somewhere in '11?
2.5 years of trying to get rid of two entities I contracted in the span of about 20 minutes in '08. I feel that my karma is so incredibly bad that my higher self actually had a suicide planned for this life and is forcing me in that direction. What an asshole my higher self is! I suspect one suicide out of 800 or so lives is "necessary" for some inane reason. I'm very bitter towards God of late. I really thought '10 was my year to be illuminated, writing that I felt very close at the beginning of the year. I no longer feel close, just jaded, discouraged, exhausted, fearful, exasperated, bitter, angry.
In August '10 I did a 19 day fast followed by an etheric cord cutting. That lead to 6th chakra clarity I've never felt before. I got a job and an apartment but just two or three weeks later, after asking a true disgrace to humanity to pray for me I contracted all her shit as she tapped into my astral space for 9 straight days. Witch, witch, witch. Proves to me that catholicism is pure black magic and nothing else. Boy, oh boy, I'm not bitter. Once again what was mine became not mine. Then I saw Jason and Nora who sealed in all the crap I got from said witch so that guarantees that I'll never be able to clear my 6th chakra as I did in August -- at least not by fasting and cord cutting.
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