Bye Bye

I had some hope of getting rid of the entities till the end of last week but since breaking the fast I saw Charity and picked up another critter that I'm sure must have been responsible for killing her two unborn children. It's lodged in my third chakra just like the original from Carolina (which I got rid of) and the current one, which I got from Ron two years ago at Christmas time.

The energy in Brampton is lethal for me. Milton is better energy-wise but I have nowhere there to shower or cook a meal so yesterday I hiked back in to Ceci's place. Neither Ceci nor her daughter want me anywhere close to their new-found dwelling place so it's humiliating, not to mention probably bad karma, for me to be here. I'll make a meal for myself with food I have stored here and go once again and sleep in the park like all good homeless people do. The taste of failure becomes more bitter everyday.

Having two dead people, or three now, in my stomach takes me down, for the most part, into their world -- they each 'prefer' death to life, in a way, and are each of them trying in their own way to bring me down to it (I mentioned the world of avichi before on this blog). I know it sounds melodramatic and probably its just a
"cry for help" or "attention-getter" but I don't see myself surviving my current situation much longer. I know the spiritual consequences of suicide, for example, but I don't want to live much longer in my current state.

The cord-cutting with Charity, the most recent, was actually another disaster, getting repossessed as I did -- the last thing on earth I expected. It's that kind of event that discourages me completely.

The problems extend beyond the entities, of course. I have a major (major) block in my 6th chakra and all of my other chakras have blocks in them as well. I can't be around anybody because of the energies that I pick up from them. So, the situation is quite hopeless.