Purify the Etheric Body

Four months into the year -- a year in which I believed that I could become spiritually illuminated. And I had the method: purify the chakras, purify the etheric body. Funny how "chakras" and "etheric" both show up as misspelled on my text editor. Alas, humanity has a long way to go. And I don't want to be there to see them through.

I saw some very gruesome pictures and videos of suicides ... real suicides. There are some very nasty websites out there, it's totally sick what you might find if you look. I saw several pictures of murders as well, very nasty stuff. All this to say that death, premature death, doesn't really turn me on -- I have been hoping for a long time to suicide my way out of this life, but after seeing what death looks like, I think I'd like to reconsider.

I saw Tracy again last week, which was the "golden section" week since my birthday. I mentioned for the first time how, 2 years ago before Carolina opened me up and practically killed me in the process, I had actually started making subliminals that said things like "I have died, I have found a way to die, etc." That was triggered by the loss of 2500$ on my credit card early in '08. Well, that and living with two women who both have some of the nastiest third chakra energy I have ever been forced to endure. And also the other 30,000$ that I lost over the two years prior to '08. In any case, the long and short is that I asked for it, the experience of "death" with Carolina -- I experienced exactly what I asked for with my subliminals, except ... well, the old phrase, "be careful what you wish for."

I still feel raped every day by people's energy (remember the Bogg's scenes from Shawshank Redemption?) which means that this place (the Earth) might still get the best of me, as it almost got the best of Andy Dufraisne. Almost, but for the OUTDOOR DETAIL. I have not started looking for a place to stay in June when I have to move -- I'm still focused on "illumination" and especially removing the leeches from my second and third chakras. Just like Cecilia's working towards her bodybuilding competition, I'm training for my etheric body competition -- I've got to become purified, I've got to become clean -- it's as hard as coming from the slums and making 20 million rupees (the answer to the question is destiny, btw). It's about as hard as trying to wash yourself off with mud -- I mean, how can I become clean when all I have to work with is dirt?

I've seen two movies in the past little while that have to do with death -- "Into the Wild", directed by Sean Penn, and "Le Grand Bleu", directed by the amazing Luc Besson (I believe). Both films involve the protagonists more or less insanely, more or less stupidly throwing their lives away. Even Truman did that at the very end -- because he wanted truth above all else (just like McCandless). Truth and reality are very different things -- actually they're polar opposites in this fake world. The only way you can approach truth is via destiny, just like Jamal did.

I've come to believe that spiritual illumination is the most important of all pursuits -- does that make me a religious freak, fanatic? But wait, the Illuminati own the banks, the education systems, the military, all technology -- they own your very thoughts and wishes, and your future, and the future of your children. So, illumination must be pretty important. Truman had to reach a point where he gave up his existence in order to know truth -- and I have to reach that same point. It is yet to be reached. I don't know how to reach it, but if it's destiny that I become illuminated, then I will find a way.